Tag Archives: change

Learning to Commit

Hello everyone!

When I last posted I mentioned that I had picked up a book titled Staying Put: Making a home in a restless world by Scott Russell Sanders.  While I am only into the second chapter I will tell you right now that this book is a gem.  It is a book to read slowly and savor because it will get into your head and linger there. Mr. Sanders writes beautifully addressing the struggles many of us have as we navigate through our lives.  It is a book about putting down roots and creating a sense of place.  The book, while written in 1993, has even greater relevance today.  Our world has become even more restless and now, sadly,  much more violent.  This book is a comfort and a call to commitment in our lives.  I have no hesitation in telling you that this book will  help you to discover your own sense of home, place, and what matters in your life.  Also, be sure and check out the author’s website at http://www.scottrussellsanders.com.  Please take some time to look at his website.  His writing is thoughtful and engaging  and I was delighted to find he has authored many  books over the years.  If you can’t find the book locally, you can get it new or used on Amazon.  Let me know what you think.  I will share some of my favorite passages in a later post.

Speaking of restlessness, I want to put yes another plug in for meditation and some resources to help you.  It seems that meditative things have been appearing often in my life lately and I have been trying to pay attention to that.  As I have mentioned before, just the word meditation brings up and expectation for most of us; one that I sometimes think scares us off before we even get started.  There are many formalized practices of meditation and they all have their benefits and I am in no way discouraging you from learning or practicing them.  But sometimes it is better to ease into some disciplines that we may stay with them and flourish slowly.

A friend mentioned that even just doing a few seconds of meditation is helpful for her in situations like driving.  Taking a few breaths and quieting the mind briefly can be immensely helpful.  Try it when you get flustered or feel overwhelmed with things that need to get done.  It might be just the little break you need.

One of the churches close to me sits on a large piece of land and they have created a walking meditation labyrinth.  I believe walking can be meditative, but walking through this labyrinth has been a wonderful experience and has often helped me settle my mind and mysteriously provided clarity.  While you many not have access to a formal labyrinth, perhaps there is a circular path nearby or a space in your yard to create a repetitive walking path.

Another plug for my favorite beginning meditation and mindfulness book.  Mindfulness in Plain English by Ghante Henepola Gunaratana will eases you into the meditative process step by step.  I read parts of this book everyday and I never fail to learn something new.

And lastly, a resource that has been very helpful to me and good for those who like guided meditations.  Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey to their 21 day meditation events several times a year.  The last one was all about getting unstuck and has been one of the most helpful and insightful series  have done.  They cover a variety of issues in our lives and are a good combination of helpful words, a daily thought and meditation; easy session lasting around 20 minutes.  They are also free with the option to purchase the session once it is done.  Here is the link: http://www.chopracentermeditation.com

So what are you waiting for.  Mediation and mindfulness are what you make it. You don’t need special clothes or music.  Just a comfortable place to sit.  Give it a try today.  Start slowly. If you are just wanting to do a sitting meditation start with 5 minutes and gradually build up.  It will be worth it I promise!

Take a Look Around. Is Your Space Blocking your Creativity?

There are many ways in which we block ourselves from pursuing our dreams and passions. Engaging and sustaining our true selves takes work. Most of my suggestions are for ideas we can do mentally and spiritually to get past fear and other dream inhibiting thought processes. Right now though, I want to talk a little about the physical space where you work and/or live.

Yesterday I made banana bread. I used my Mom’s recipe and it came out great. I will share it with you at the end of this post. It is really very easy and my Mom had one “must do” that I think keeps this bread moist and flavorful. After I put the breads in the oven to bake, I looked around at the mess I had made which was substantial. Now I am usually a very neat cook and baker. By the time something goes in the oven or is simmering on the stove I usually don’t have much clean up. I pondered this as I loaded the dishwasher and tidied up and came to the conclusion that my kitchen isn’t quite finished. It needs some tweaking or fine tuning. Yes, it is done in the sense that it is brand new and has great cupboard space and brand new appliances and everything else. But I have yet to make it my own space in the sense of effortlessly moving through recipes and having everything in its easiest and most accessible spot.

Having been in my house now for about 3 months, I am what you could call unpacked and moved in. The reality is that it does take time to make a house a home and a reflection of the people who live there, and while I am happy with some rooms, I still have a ways to go. Outside I’ve planted pots of flowers and filled my big window box, but have been watching the yard to see what comes up and how the sun shifts during the year. Next year I will start creating a garden for the birds and butterflies (and chipmunks!)

My home feels like a space where parts of it have only  half come together. I have just sort of been sitting with things the way they are , believing that decorating and a more pulled together look will happen in time. The problem with this is that I seem to be having all these creative ideas I want to pursue, but much of my space is not yet fostering and furthering the process for me. I am lately realizing that I am a little backwards in my thinking and this has been holding me and my project ideas hostage. My ideas are not going to bloom unless my surroundings reflect who I am and provide the type of space that I need to foster new directions in my life.

While I know folks who are in new spaces, not everyone is starting from scratch like me. Still, take a look around your house, your studio, your kitchen. Do you have a favorite spot for the activities you pursue, or do you constantly move around trying to get comfortable and settled? What in your physical space doesn’t flow and augment your life? Do you need different colors, more art, more storage, less stuff?  Do you ever walk into a room and it just seems sad or a bit neglected?  Certainly adding some new life to rooms has to be good for us. Even if we just feel happier walking into them we will create more positive energy in our home and the world.

If you need inspiration pick up a magazine or two. Visit some home decor places or shops that you find inspiring. If you like perusing online definitely take a look at http://www.houzz.com .  You can see photos of all sorts of renovated rooms here and can even request photos with certain colors, styles, or size of room. I recently looked at a magazine showing personal work spaces created by women. These were serious and incredible spaces and beautifully photographed. And while your room(s) may not need a complete redo, sometimes simply moving a piece of furniture or adding some new art or new pillows on a chair can do it. Fresh flowers can be powerful in their color and scent. If you have a garden now is the time to take some cuttings and let them bring freshness and color into your home. I love geraniums and sometimes just pick a few leaves to crush as the scent is always soothing to me. Even a good cleaning can change the energy in a room; open a window and clear out the dust bunnies. See if that doesn’t let some inspiration come scampering out from the recesses of your mind.

I have decided to become more proactive in creating  more workable  and happier rooms for myself and fine tweaking a few others. I hope that you too will take a look around your home and/or work space and try even a few small changes that might make things flow easier. In order to make changes in our lives we are working at cleaning out the clutter from our brains and getting rid of negativity and patterns that don’t work. Doing the same with our surroundings is going to help that process! Let me know how it goes!

Now here is that banana bread recipe.

1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup butter
2 eggs beaten
1/2 cup buttermilk (or regular milk with a few drops of vinegar)
1 tsp baking soda
dash of salt
2 cups sifted flour
3 large ripe bananas (mashed lumpy)

Mix in the order given. Pour mixture into 2 small loaf pans that have been greased and floured.
Bake 1 hour at 300 degrees.

The key to this recipe is to mash the bananas with a fork instead of with the electric mixer. I have even used a potato masher. Then just fold them gently into the other ingredients.

Take a Breath

Sometimes, no matter how focused we are on moving forward and creating change and new adventures in our life, we are forced to deal with some sort of setback or event that blindsides us and leaves us rattled.

When that setback involves past relationships and/or events in our life, it can throw us off balance, make us question our place in this world and wreak havoc with our self confidence.
So,how do we prevent inevitable run-ins with our past from sending us into a spiral of defeat, self-criticism and panic?

Many of you know that the last year has brought many changes in my life. My Mother passed away, somewhat unexpectedly last year, while I was in the midst of packing up and getting ready to move from Florida to Colorado. In May of this year I moved back to Florida to deal with a house I own. I also went back to a job I previously held, as a fill in person on call. While I know and accept that my life is in transition, I have been struggling at times with feeling like I am right back where I was 5 years ago. In reality this isn’t so, but does create some anxiety and unsettled feelings to my days. Add to the mix an encounter with a past relationship, one that I thought was on friendly terms but was apparently quite wrong, and the self-defeating murmurings in my brain became a 10 on the anxiety and the lack of confidence scale. I was grateful for nice customers that day, but by the time I got home that evening I was feeling like a fish out of water and in need of some restoration.

So, the burning question is how did I handle all of this and how can my experience help me to be better at encouraging all of you to not let one bad day bring you down.

And the truth is actually that I made it harder than it had to be. It was only a single day, and to let what happens on any one day impede your joy or calmness of the next day is not staying in the present moment. Nothing I did that evening helped me find my center and feel peaceful and the next morning I still wasn’t back to rights.  So what did I do? I took myself to breakfast and treated myself to french toast and bacon and numerous cups of coffee. I smiled and chatted with the waitress and other diners near me. I got back out in the world and carried on with my day. My anxiety lessened, I remembered that I will have everything I want if I keep paying attention and remember that as I have my own path to follow, so does everyone else.  I did my best to stop overthinking the previous day and focus on make the new day a successful one. Once I was able to release the events of the previous day, my confidence returned and I no longer held on to that desperate feeling of needing to create reactive change; instead letting change unfold as it will while still remaining proactive and positive.

Some ‘notes to self’ that may be of help to you or encourage you to make your own ‘notes to self’

We are all in this world together. Every person we interact or cross paths with during the day has their own life to figure out. A smile and a friendly word or two can make someone’s day and help you too.

Remember or find your mantra. I have a few that I use at different times. A new one I just picked up that has been helpful: “History need not repeat itself.” From TUT- A note from the Universe (sign up at TUT.com).  Thank you Mike Dooley for once again giving me a morning Note from the Universe which was just what I needed.

I make things harder than they need to be and hold myself back…ever find yourself doing that?

Thanks for reading everyone! Remember, change takes time. We all backtrack or feel confused at times. Just don’t stay stuck in that place and try and use it to motivate you instead of paralyze you.

Next up I take a look at Dan MIllman’s The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, a book that I keep close and have re-read many times. Let’s see how it can help us let go of defeating behaviors and thoughts.