Category Archives: Purpose

Toss Those Lists and Dive into Something New

Somehow, rather unconsciously I believe, my resolve for this year became about doing instead of thinking about doing. While I have always been a list maker, believing this was the way to be productive, my attachment to making lists has gone by the wayside. Lists are about organization and getting things done. My new motto is more about process and finding ones self and purpose. While lists are not a bad thing if you are going out to do errands, what I’ve discovered is that they stand in the way of spontaneity and being in the moment; seeing what life brings and places in front of us. This change for me began with one of my favorite authors, Mark Nepo, and his book “Things That Join The Sea And The Sky. Philosopher and poet, Mr. Nepo gives us words that are soft and gentle, but still profound and wrenching and life shaking. His short essay “Quieting the Thieves” inspired me to start changing the way I was living. I read a little Mark Nepo every day and find him inspiring on many levels. If you do read some of his work, let us know how you like it and if it has inspired you!
We are given lists and steps we need to take throughout much of our lives. Since kindergarten there has been order placed upon us. School, work, marriage, kids, more work, more education; all signs tells us if we do things in a certain order we will have happy and successful lives. If that is true, then why is it that so many people I know and talk to (including myself) are still searching for something. It isn’t that we haven’t been successful or haven’t raised great kids or enjoyed the work we have done. All good…except? What is it we are supposed to be doing? I hear this from people who love their jobs and from people who are looking to make a change. It has nothing to do with money or “success”. It has everything to do with our mortality and our wish to leave a positive mark on the world and feel the deep peace that knowing our purpose provides.
For me, the notion of doing and not thinking about doing has freed me from living in the world of excuses. How often do you find yourself saying; “I would love to try that!”, “Wouldn’t that be fun”, “I want to ________(fill in the blank with your own desire)” Do it! With so much information out there it is easy to get mired down in the research of something we want to do, which can kill any initial joy. Just try something, have some fun. Always wanted to draw? Grab a sketchbook and pencil and go outside. Want to write. Grab a pen and a piece of paper and write something down. Doesn’t matter what. Write a letter to someone. Write down a dream. Write down how the backyard is looking as spring approaches. Movement will create movement in the same way that letting thoughts stay as thoughts creates stagnation. Don’t hide your work. Show it to your partner or send it to a friend. Doesn’t matter how “good” it is. Be proud of yourself. Sharing will make you keep engaged. When we start doing, we start becoming aware. We see what is happening at that moment; what is the universe giving us and showing us. Don’t overthink it. If you find something engaging and you want to learn more then go for it. But before you go on Youtube or start looking at books and classes and supplies, just have fun.
Doing helps us get closer to our purpose and to understanding this life we are given. There is no failure other than not giving something new and different a shot and seeing how it opens your eyes and where it takes you. Remember, it may not be exactly what you try that is the purpose in your life; but the awareness you develop, the people you meet and being curious enough to follow a path it suggests may lead you to something much bigger then you ever believed possible.
If you have a story about finding an activity that has inspired you and lead you down a path that perhaps you weren’t expecting please share it with us!

Changing It Up

Hello readers!
Happy 2018! I have missed you and while it wasn’t my intention to be away from here for quite so long, I needed the break for some introspection, and to explore how this blog can evolve while still giving a nod to its original spirit. What I have discovered is that I want this to be a more interactive site; a community space for us all. What I hear often from conversations that I have with friends is that many of us still don’t know exactly what we are supposed to be doing in this world. While we have had (and still have for some) successful jobs, raised confident and successful kids, and have overall “good lives”, we still feel like we are searching for passion and purpose. And even once we find what we love and want to pursue, it can be a bit overwhelming! What if we all started sharing our struggles and successes in this endeavor? This blog can be a place where we share ideas, projects, events and all things that help us to find our purpose and path and then continue forward with it. What I truly believe is that if we know who we are and what lights a fire under us, we can change our own world and the world around us.

One of the changes I have made is to add a “readers contribute” page. You will notice it at the top of the website. If you have anything you want to share, here is the space to do it. It can be artwork, a recipe, an essay, or something educational. My only request is that it not be political or antagonistic in nature. There is a tab now for  a  contact sheet for you to send your work. Also, if there is anyone out there who would like to have a weekly column on a specific topic please let me know. We can have more than one weekly column so don’t be shy. I think of friends I know who have an interest in cooking, wildlife and gardening just to mention a few. Perhaps you would be willing to share your knowledge, resources, struggles and successes with us! Since I know that many of you are also voracious readers, if you would like to review a book we will also have a “Books We Like” page. Let us know what inspires and/or motivates you about what you are reading.

Let’s make this a great place to share ideas, resources and support. I am open to and welcome any ideas you would like to suggest as we grow this blog into a site we can all enjoy and contribute to. This is going to be our blog, not just my blog. I love the idea of collaboration and know we can all benefit from making this an interactive space. If you have friends you believe would enjoy this site, get them involved too!

So here we go! Don’t be shy! Now that we have some of the new infrastructure out of the way, it’s time to get to work and have some fun!

“If I cannot do great things I can do small things in a great way” Martin Luther King
From a man who was destined to do great things, a reminder to us that we can make
a difference one small thing at a time.

Learning to Commit

Hello everyone!

When I last posted I mentioned that I had picked up a book titled Staying Put: Making a home in a restless world by Scott Russell Sanders.  While I am only into the second chapter I will tell you right now that this book is a gem.  It is a book to read slowly and savor because it will get into your head and linger there. Mr. Sanders writes beautifully addressing the struggles many of us have as we navigate through our lives.  It is a book about putting down roots and creating a sense of place.  The book, while written in 1993, has even greater relevance today.  Our world has become even more restless and now, sadly,  much more violent.  This book is a comfort and a call to commitment in our lives.  I have no hesitation in telling you that this book will  help you to discover your own sense of home, place, and what matters in your life.  Also, be sure and check out the author’s website at http://www.scottrussellsanders.com.  Please take some time to look at his website.  His writing is thoughtful and engaging  and I was delighted to find he has authored many  books over the years.  If you can’t find the book locally, you can get it new or used on Amazon.  Let me know what you think.  I will share some of my favorite passages in a later post.

Speaking of restlessness, I want to put yes another plug in for meditation and some resources to help you.  It seems that meditative things have been appearing often in my life lately and I have been trying to pay attention to that.  As I have mentioned before, just the word meditation brings up and expectation for most of us; one that I sometimes think scares us off before we even get started.  There are many formalized practices of meditation and they all have their benefits and I am in no way discouraging you from learning or practicing them.  But sometimes it is better to ease into some disciplines that we may stay with them and flourish slowly.

A friend mentioned that even just doing a few seconds of meditation is helpful for her in situations like driving.  Taking a few breaths and quieting the mind briefly can be immensely helpful.  Try it when you get flustered or feel overwhelmed with things that need to get done.  It might be just the little break you need.

One of the churches close to me sits on a large piece of land and they have created a walking meditation labyrinth.  I believe walking can be meditative, but walking through this labyrinth has been a wonderful experience and has often helped me settle my mind and mysteriously provided clarity.  While you many not have access to a formal labyrinth, perhaps there is a circular path nearby or a space in your yard to create a repetitive walking path.

Another plug for my favorite beginning meditation and mindfulness book.  Mindfulness in Plain English by Ghante Henepola Gunaratana will eases you into the meditative process step by step.  I read parts of this book everyday and I never fail to learn something new.

And lastly, a resource that has been very helpful to me and good for those who like guided meditations.  Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey to their 21 day meditation events several times a year.  The last one was all about getting unstuck and has been one of the most helpful and insightful series  have done.  They cover a variety of issues in our lives and are a good combination of helpful words, a daily thought and meditation; easy session lasting around 20 minutes.  They are also free with the option to purchase the session once it is done.  Here is the link: http://www.chopracentermeditation.com

So what are you waiting for.  Mediation and mindfulness are what you make it. You don’t need special clothes or music.  Just a comfortable place to sit.  Give it a try today.  Start slowly. If you are just wanting to do a sitting meditation start with 5 minutes and gradually build up.  It will be worth it I promise!

Setting Goals instead of Expectations

By definition, expectations are almost guaranteed to bring you disappointment. Expectations involve a disregard for reality while harboring a belief that something should or will happen simply because we entertain a thought or desire.  If you have ever watched a toddler throw a fit because he didn’t get the candy or ice cream he thought he deserved you are seeing total disappointment of an expectation.  Gradually we grow out of throwing tantrums, but sometimes it is harder to get rid of expectational thinking and we wind up being just as disappointed as adults as we were as children.

Choosing to set goals will lead you to your desire often times faster and with fewer mistakes since goals involve directing our efforts towards the end or outcome we desire. Setting a goal will still involve that original idea or desire, but instead of thoughtless and unplanned pursuit of that desire, time and effort must play a part.  Working towards and attaining a goal helps us become more confident and move forward be creating more goals in our lives.  This allows us to leave that disappointing realm of expectations and create real change and purpose.

It certainly isn’t wrong to envision the attainment of our desires, and one helpful step is to create a vision board. Simply cut out images, or print them from your computer, of what it is you want and attach them to a poster board or cork board. Anything and everything you desire  in your dreams can go on this board. Vision boards give us something concrete and material to look at; they take our dreams out of our imagination and provide a visual reminder of where we want to go.   They can be a first step in the journey of making the changes you desire in your life.  Once you are able to take a first step, the next one will be a little easier.

Taking our dreams and desires seriously demands that we act in a way that will bring them to fruition. Choosing to live in the fantasy world of expectation will bring disappointment and discouragement almost always. To have success in any area in our life takes dedication, hard work and planning. That is what goals are made of. They require that we learn new things, pay attention to our surroundings, and learn from others how to create a successful and joyful life.

As a means of encouragement I urge you to do something every day, no matter how small, to get you closer to your dream.

Here are some ideas to get you started. Feel free to expand upon them or share your own ideas with the rest of us!

Mind map your goal
Write a business plan. Start small and expand it as your plan grows. It can even be one sentence to start.
Don’t be afraid to talk to others who have expertise in your area. Many people love sharing their knowledge about how they fulfilled their goals.
Take a class.
Meditate
Get enough sleep.
Don’t worry, worrying is a waste of time.
Be organized. Know where your information is and where to access it.
Be focused.
Read everything you can about what interests you and what you feel passionate about.
Let your dream evolve and take shape as you increase your knowledge. and gain confidence. Don’t remain rigid in your thinking.

I imagine that many of you have books that you find inspiring and that don’t stray far from your reading chair or night stand. One such book for me is “Infinite Possibilities, The Art of Living Your Dreams”, by Mike Dooley. I have read this book several times, and often just pick it up and let it fall to whatever page it will. Mike Dooley’s enthusiasm is infectious and he will definitely get you thinking outside of the box and help you change your perspective into one that will help you live a joyful and purposeful life.